"Dear YOU! who are on a healing transformation journey.
You may go on evaluating your intimate relationships with a "checklist" as if making a negotiation as if true love were something that can be bargained or coerced... It can't... Loving relationships can only bloom and emerge to the degree with which we clear away the debris of past hurts shadowing our souls.
But how do we overcome the unconscious mechanisms of our own self-sabotage?
The irony of healing dysfunctional relationship tendencies is that you can't heal it alone. You need someone who can remain present with you in your deepest, unfiltered vulnerability and shed light on your blind spots.
This will establish a reference point for trust, safety, and self-awareness, which can be revisited and reinforced to counteract your unhealthy conditioning.
As with all things, consistency is key.
By having a more frequent and deeper cultivation of intimacy and discernment with others and within ourselves, we can begin to maturely and mindfully navigate any inevitable turbulence from relationships.
You were born to love and be loved, just as a seed is made to grow. But love - mature, enduring love- must be cultivated. Love is a gift, but relationship is an art.
Through the bittersweet crucible of life's learning, all that is not love is revealed and burned away. You must prepare yourself for the depths of love, and be willing to surrender yourself to it.
Love cannot emerge from behind your fortress walls.
The love you attract and receive is in direct proportion to your ability to allow love to consciously radiate from within an embodied presence.
Then, when you are truly ready and the dance of intimacy graces your life, you will be able to co-create a healthy relationship that is fundamentally a platform for personal growth in your capacity to give and receive love with your fullest being.
Source: From my archive of self-help 2018- 2019
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